The anxiety had been pretty intense for me, deep into my chest when I went to bed and woke up, continuing through the day. I needed to take some serious actions for my own health and life due to experiencing vicarious trauma.
"Vicarious trauma" refers to the combined impact of being exposed to details about traumatic events, which can result in distress, discontent, despair, and significant mental and physical health issues.(Monash Gender and Family Violence Prevention Centre, DV Vic & DVRCV, 2021).
- My first step was to Google about other people’s experiences. I found articles about how to handle not feeling motivated at work, and articles on Reddit about people feeling like they care too much in roles like social work. This helped me not feel so alone in the feelings and normalised them for me. I am not alone in how I have been feeling. One post on Instagram I found was about nurses and the dread they feel before a shift, which I really resonated with. After doing all this research on motivation, I reflected on the fact that I can work more focused at the start of the day, so I decided to put my attention on the first two thirds of the day, which has increased my motivation.
- Second step, talk about it. I booked an appointment with an Employee Assistance Program, during my first counselling session the counsellor discussed vicarious trauma and gave me a really great way to rethink my days. They advised that we work about 7 hours in the field being exposed to traumatic material/stories, so we have to try to minimise the 7 hours from getting any larger, thereby further exposing ourselves to material that can be unhelpful for our health. So, make every effort to not add more trauma to your day, a huge part of that for me is my thoughts. I have to stop allowing myself to dwell on thoughts about work outside of work time. The counsellor suggested a strategy, where I pick a physical location that I drive by every day to and from work, at that point I stop thinking about work and can start thinking about work. The physical location provides a concrete line, where I switch on and switch off. I picked a plumbing business as my line, I haven’t fully locked this line into my brain yet, but I’m working on it!
- Third step, Name it. I created a work journal ages ago, but had stopped using it. When the counsellor started giving me reflection questions, I realised that I already had a tool for processing my day and how my body was tracking. But, I didn’t just need to make the tool, I needed to use my own tool for me! I have not been ok when I’ve left work. I need the ‘Go Home’ journal, because I need to stop bringing my work home with me in my mind and body. The journal can be purchased here.
- Fourth step, breathe and get outside. I’ve been consistently doing a breathing exercise before bed, to help the anxiety to go and prevent any nightmares. So far, I have had no nightmares on breathing exercise nights and I seem to fall asleep easier. The counsellor also encouraged me to take a quick break throughout the day, after a tough call, just stand outside for a second and breathe, take a break for yourself, your body and your mind, this reminds us that we have a life outside of the traumatic material/stories and that we are safe.
- Fifth step, Going on leave. I’ve had ten days off to reset, allow my mind and body to heal away from the traumatic exposures. The counsellor also encouraged this, and advised that the weekend was not enough time for the body to get out of the anxious state that it’s been in. There is no magic number of days I’ve found that says you need to have to feel better again. I know we are all different, and our exposures to traumatic material/stories are also different, but the step is to reflect on having a block of time away from it all.
Claire